tea diaries ~~~~~ groooooovy

THE RAINY DAY WONKTA BLUES

I've made it no secret that I've been extra homesick lately. I'm almost rounding out a year, and the constant pandering to Confucianism, fake smiles and exasperating language mishaps can be just plain exhausting. Skyping and letters to home at times can make you feel FURTHER away I think - it's like letting a hungry person smell a big ol cinnabon but not letting him actually get a taste, and thinking that somehow the smell satisfies almost as well. Yes, to all my family and friends out there reading this: I want to taste your cinnabons.

Anyway. Today was no different, and with the rain and the clouds and the fact that I'm still recovering from mild food poisoning from my trip to the mainland, I wasn't exactly pickin' daisies. But I decided to get on up'n'out of this funk, and took a walk down to the cinema to check on the times for the Da Vinci Code tonight.

First though, let me give you guys a little background on the word "wonkta". I don't know very much Korean, but from what I do know, a wonkta at least in the classroom setting is nothing short of a pariah. There are a couple of wonktas at my school, and they sit alone in the cafeteria, have the saddest expressions on their faces, never speak a word at any time, and I've actually been prevented by my coteachers from including them in the activities. I was a little mad at first at such blatant discrimination, but I guess it was done with the kindest of intentions, to shield them from further attacks from the students. Though if they're never called upon in class, they'll never have a chance to prove themselves, or to climb out of their wonkta status through academic recognition from their peers. It's a tricky issue. The very fact though that Korean has a word that fully encompasses the concept seems to me to be a tacit approval of the wonkta's place (or lack thereof) in society. We have the terms "outcast" or "social reject" but those terms can mean other things - we can refer to an entire group of people as being outcasts in society, or we can refer to a lone wolf as being an outcast in wolf society, or we can use reject as a verb in other situations. As far as I know, wonkta only refers to people, and only in the situation of extreme aloneness.

One of my friends over here was trying to explain the Columbine shootings to her advanced class last fall, and to try to deliver her point mentioned that the gunmen were wonkta. She was chilled when the class said "no no teacher, there were two of them! they had a friend!" Wonktas are totally and completely isolated. And unlike America with its almost limitless youth sub and countercultures (particularly in this case, goth), the kids don't have any identity to turn to when mainstream society spurns them. Even Japan has seen the rise of weekend cosplay displays, popular mostly with high school girls who are taunted during the week. Without a subculture to identify with, the wonkta is left utterly alone.

It was in that state that I, turning a corner, passed one of our Daesin Middle School students. She was standing on a corner waiting to cross, and she was crying. It wasn't just tears - this was full-on, shoulder-heaving ... sobs. It was a singular moment - my mind had been flitting back and forth through all the things that I had to complain about - missing family and friends, feeling constrained in a homestay, feeling like an alien in Korea. But I'm a traveller in another country, all of that is understandable. Here was a girl whose own culture had bitterly rejected her. Lord knows she had everything in the world to sob about.

What was I going to do? Our eyes never met, I don't know if she saw me. I wanted to hug her, I wanted to tell her it would be alright, I wanted to do something - but honestly if I had approached her she would have run away in shame. And things won't be alright for her. She's going to have to wake up tomorrow and deal with it all again. I truly do not understand how this goes on in Korea. In Korean society, wonkta might be treated as less than human - but I think this girl's weeping was the most singularly human act I've witnessed all year.